Faith When You Don’t Have Control

My dad was a Methodist pastor and is now a chaplain in the army so I have always grown up in church. I watched Veggie Tales when I was little, joined youth group when I started middle school, and went to church almost every Sunday. It has always been a big part of my life. As I got older, I started to look at it as much more than just a routine. God is incredibly important in my life. While that remains true, it doesn’t mean that my faith journey has only been smooth sailing.

Over the past couple years in particular, I’ve had to wrestle with my faith. I mentioned in a previous post that my family seemed to be getting hit with one thing after another. A cousin in her thirties being diagnosed with ALS and my granddaddy declining in health; both of them recently passing away in a span of three months. My classes becoming more challenging and overwhelming. The realization that I’m only a little over a year away from graduating and the fact that I need to start looking towards the future. A lot of concepts that I have zero control over. During these events, my anxiety has only increased. All of this has been difficult. I often find myself knowing that God is the only one who can help me through this period, but resenting Him for letting everything hit me all at once. It’s a constant tug of war in my mind between relying on Him fully and questioning whether He is really working everything together for good.

I’ve been trying to work on prioritizing God like I should. I pray every day and read my Bible, looking to Him to make sense out of the chaotic nature of my life. I still find verses that I like and that help me when I’m feeling anxious. God is still incredibly important to me. I don’t doubt that He is with me. I know He is. But I also don’t think it’s wrong to question why things are the way that they are. If everything was going perfectly in my life, I would have no reason to dig deep and try and grow in my faith. Not having control is something that I struggle a lot with, but it helps me to think that there is someone who loves me who is in control. That doesn’t mean I have found all the answers I’m looking for. In fact, I’m not even close. But, it does mean that I can lean on Him when I feel myself spiraling out of control. He will be there to walk with me on my journey, wherever it may take me.

I thought I would share some of my favorite verses that I look to when I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed by life:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” – Psalm 56:3

I would love to hear about your own journey with faith. What do you struggle with? What are some of your favorite verses? Let me know. Thanks for going on this journey with me!

Rachel (:

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