The Juggling Act

People today are always busy. There is always something that needs to get done. I am no different. It can be incredibly draining. Sometimes it isn’t just physical things that need juggling, but your thoughts that come in and mess up the rhythm causing everything to fall down. As the next semester looms up ahead, I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. Maybe some of you can relate as well.

This summer my life has mainly consisted of working. I love my job. Working at an escape game is like people watching on steroids and I love my coworkers, but that doesn’t mean I never feel burnt out. The past couple of weeks I have started feeling more anxious as the hours pass at work. A lot of this is just the hours of talking to people adding up. I am an introvert and I really need my time alone, so when I feel like I’m not getting that, I start to feel restless. That’s just one part of my life this summer. I am also juggling writing this blog. Finding time to just sit and write when my brain isn’t tired from working all day is hard. I’m trying to read a lot this summer mostly because I enjoy it, but also because I want to be more well-read before going into my internship later this month. I am trying to do some fun things as well because it is my last summer before I am in the real world with a full-time job. That thought alone trips me up often. Those are just the tangible things I am juggling this summer.

Thoughts are no joke. They hold a lot of power. In my case, they interfere with my sleep. There are a lot of things that I’m thinking about this summer. I try to imagine what the next semester is going to look like. I worry that I’ll become overworked and overwhelmed once I add schoolwork and an internship to my schedule. I worry about how I’ll do at my internship. I want to impress the people I work with and learn a lot so that I can find a good job after college. I am going to be a senior this year, so naturally, thoughts of post-college linger in the air. Where am I going to stay? Are my friends going to stay too? What job am I going to have? Am I going to be ready to be a full-fledged adult? I also think about my parents who are in the moving process right now. I won’t see where they live until December. I won’t be able to picture my room at home until then. Then the questions come into my head about the concept of home in general. I think about past moves, good and bad. All of these thoughts hitting at once have made me feel a little blah recently. That’s the best way to describe it. For the past couple of weeks, it has been hard to focus on things, because my thoughts shift or I just feel indifferent. I finally started reading another book yesterday so it’s getting better. But I am juggling all of these thoughts that fuel anxiety on top of the tangible aspects of my summer. But as I talked to my therapist about it, I was reminded that we are all jugglers.

No one is going through life with a one-track mind. We are all trying to balance. What I have come to realize, is that it is okay to drop the ball sometimes. It doesn’t mean that you have to leave everything scattered on the floor. It just means you need to try again and practice until everything is in rhythm. No one becomes a professional juggler overnight. We are the same way. It may take some time to feel confident juggling all of your responsibilities and your thoughts/emotions. That’s perfectly fine. Sure, my next semester might be crazy, but with time my schedule will just feel normal. Sure, my anxiety may still be with me, but with time I will talk those worries out with my therapist, my friends, and my family and I’ll be able to remind myself that everything will work out. Juggling is not easy, but it is something that can be learned until one day it feels like second nature. Sometimes another ball will be thrown into the mix and then you’ll practice again until that rhythm feels natural too.

I really appreciate the support on the blog, especially as I work to juggle everything. As I enter the next semester, my posting schedule may change depending on what my schedule ends up looking like. I will let you know if that will be the case. Thanks for reading and supporting!

Rachel (:

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