Decided that today I would share another poem I wrote. I found it in my notes. In a lot of ways I still feel a lot of these things, but I think I’m in starting to be in a better place. Every time I share my writing, my stomach drops, but I don’t want to just keep it to myself because I’m scared. I refuse to let my anxiety get the best of me. Maybe some of y’all can relate.
Home
Four letters that instantly evoke an emotion
For most people they picture the house they grew up in
The friends they’ve had since preschool
The town they know every inch of
I don’t see anything
Lost
Four letters that encompass what I feel sometimes
A vagabond, but not by choice
Wondering what my room looks like
Wondering what town I’ll come back to
I can’t picture it
Okay
Four letters said often with no conviction
A barrier between myself and others
A lie so easily told that I hope one day to be true
A word everyone else seems to mean
I hold out hope
Sure
Four letters that stand solid and grounded
Used by others when decisions are made
Nothing like the haziness I feel
My indecisive nature grasping for it
I strive towards it
Fear
Four letters that grab hold in quiet moments
It lingers in the back of my mind
Unprovoked but suddenly thrust forward
Often talking about my future
I work against it
Mood
Four letters that are ever changing
Day to day and moment to moment
Lately tipping towards indifference
Longing for blissful stability
I wait for calm
Cope
Four letters often heard in therapy
I don’t always do it healthily
Jokes and sarcasm often mask my emotions
Working to be more open with each passing day
I try my best
Hope
Four letters that with each day grow stronger
Wanting everything to turn out better than I imagine
A wish that one day anxiety will be just a memory
A sense of peace I find through Him
I hold on tight
Thanks for reading! Next week I will be taking a week off because classes start next Wednesday. I will be back in two weeks. Thank you for all the support! Let me know what kinds of things you want me to post next.
Rachel (:
Pasted On Smiles 