Four Letters

Decided that today I would share another poem I wrote. I found it in my notes. In a lot of ways I still feel a lot of these things, but I think I’m in starting to be in a better place. Every time I share my writing, my stomach drops, but I don’t want to just keep it to myself because I’m scared. I refuse to let my anxiety get the best of me. Maybe some of y’all can relate.

Home

Four letters that instantly evoke an emotion

For most people they picture the house they grew up in

The friends they’ve had since preschool

The town they know every inch of

I don’t see anything 

Lost

Four letters that encompass what I feel sometimes 

A vagabond, but not by choice 

Wondering what my room looks like

Wondering what town I’ll come back to

I can’t picture it 

Okay 

Four letters said often with no conviction

A barrier between myself and others 

A lie so easily told that I hope one day to be true

A word everyone else seems to mean 

I hold out hope 

Sure

Four letters that stand solid and grounded

Used by others when decisions are made 

Nothing like the haziness I feel 

My indecisive nature grasping for it

I strive towards it

Fear 

Four letters that grab hold in quiet moments

It lingers in the back of my mind 

Unprovoked but suddenly thrust forward 

Often talking about my future 

I work against it

Mood 

Four letters that are ever changing

Day to day and moment to moment 

Lately tipping towards indifference

Longing for blissful stability 

I wait for calm

Cope

Four letters often heard in therapy

I don’t always do it healthily 

Jokes and sarcasm often mask my emotions

Working to be more open with each passing day

I try my best

Hope

Four letters that with each day grow stronger

Wanting everything to turn out better than I imagine

A wish that one day anxiety will be just a memory

A sense of peace I find through Him

I hold on tight

Thanks for reading! Next week I will be taking a week off because classes start next Wednesday. I will be back in two weeks. Thank you for all the support! Let me know what kinds of things you want me to post next.

Rachel (:

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