Tag: Hope

Losing My Job and Finding My Path

This year is not going how I envisioned and I realized that writing and sharing my journey may help me feel less alone and encourage others who have no idea where their life is heading that it’s okay. Five days into 2023 I was laid off from my job with literally no warning. I got an email the day before asking if I could meet with my two bosses the next morning and got a bad feeling, but there had been no indication previously that I was going to lose my job so I was trying to convince myself that my gut must be wrong. But turns out my gut knows what’s up, unfortunately. I went through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and have come out the other side almost three months later, still jobless but with the knowledge that the world is literally wide open to me at the moment. That thought is both exciting and terrifying but I figure laying it all out in words on this blog may also help me make some decisions.

Let’s take it all step by step in my job finding/path finding process:

Part 1- Depression and Desperation

For the first couple of weeks after being laid off, I was grieving the loss of the job that I loved and applying to literally any job that I saw completely out of fear that I would never work again. Turns out that is not the best reason to apply for things. Ideally, your job is at least somewhat enjoyable or interesting to you. I know that doesn’t always happen, but you should at least try to reach out to companies that you actually want to be a part of. But when you are blinded by the new reality of being unemployed, it is easy to lose sight of that. So I was stuck in a cycle of scrolling through job sites and clicking “apply” on anything that was even remotely associated with my skill set. The moment I started to reset and realize that might not be the best approach was when I got an interview for a company and realized mid-interview that none of me wanted to work there. So when they said they wanted a second interview, I said no. At that moment I realized that I needed to figure out what I wanted and actively give myself grace as I grieved the loss of my previous job.

Part 2- Therapy and Acceptance

The fun thing about losing my job was that it happened literally two days after my last session with my therapist, Susan. I only see her every two weeks so that means during that two-week depressive, anxiety-ridden spiral, my therapist had no idea what was going on and I really needed to talk to her. I could have emailed or texted her but my brain was not at full capacity so I didn’t think about that until after the fact (of course lol.) Susan has always been good at keeping a straight face and being calm whenever I tell her things, as therapists do, but I’ve never seen her as shocked as when I said I lost my job. But almost immediately after she said, “Well now the world is wide open and you’ll find the place you were meant to be.” Throughout our conversation, I realized that even though I felt without control, in some ways I was more in control than I have ever been because I get to decide what my next step is. Reframing the situation put things into a new perspective that calmed me down some and made me really look at what I wanted my life to look like.

Part 3- Applying When Inspired

This started my journey of only applying to jobs that excited me when I saw them come up. I want to make it clear that I acknowledge the privilege I have to have savings and get support from my parents right now which allows me the opportunity to have the time to make decisions like this. Part of this was scrolling through LinkedIn and Indeed and some of it was actually thinking of companies I might want to work for and going directly to their sites to see if they were hiring for any positions. I felt more in control because I was picking the things that actually inspired me. It also wasn’t all jobs in my previous field. I was branching out and really taking stock of what my skills were. I got some responses for interviews and there were two jobs during this time that I was really hoping for. I got to the second round on both and the job ultimately went elsewhere, which does set you back a little bit mentally. This is when it was helpful to talk to family and Susan and reframe my thoughts again knowing that all of these interviews are great experiences and it just means these jobs weren’t the right fit right now. The job I’m meant to have will come. But all of this applying, interviewing, waiting, and waiting some more gave me a chance to realize that there were other paths to think about taking as well.

Part 4- Realizing There are Other Routes

As I was talking to Susan about things that relieve my anxiety, I was realizing that it mostly revolved around storytelling: reading, watching movies, listening to great songs, and watching TV shows. Watching other people’s creativity inspires my own creativity and being unemployed is the perfect time to lean into that. So I figured I’d restart my blog. And work on my novel idea. Flex my creative muscles that I felt like I was too tired to work on after a full day of work. Get reinspired and get back to doing the things I am passionate about. And then one day I thought “What if I go back to school? Is there a way to further my career in the world of telling stories?” After some intense googling, I found two graduate programs for “digital storytelling” which basically means learning how to write and produce stories for movies, TV, or even just for marketing purposes. All things that interest me. Susan also brought up the fact that she thinks I could make a good therapist and asked if I had ever considered it. As a psychology minor, someone who has a blog about her own mental health journey, and someone who has benefitted greatly from therapy, I have had that thought. Then I was googling masters programs for counseling. Suddenly new paths that I never would have considered while moving along in my last job emerged and got me excited about what my future could look like.

Part 5- Choosing Where I Go Next

Now it just comes down to what I decide to do. But while I’m figuring it out, I am taking all the little steps along the way so that I can make the big decisions down the road. Still applying for jobs. Applying for freelance jobs. Submitting the FAFSA. Filling out grad school applications. Doing all those things in stages makes it seem less scary and overwhelming and allows me time to really consider what I want my life to look like in the coming years. I’m just having to take it day by day, be kind to myself, and be patient. All easier said than done, but I am excited to share my journey with you.

So what will the rest of my year look like? I don’t know. But I’m 25 and maybe that’s okay.

Anyone else feeling like they don’t know what’s next? Tell me about it in the comments and let’s commiserate together!

Rachel (:

Being an Ally: Black Lives Matter

Due to the events of the last week, people are beginning to speak out about the inequality that still exists in our country. George Floyd was killed by a police officer while pleading for his life, and while the officer was just arrested, it took waaaaay too long to make that happen. The three other police officers who were on the scene have not been charged with anything. This happens often, and unfortunately often goes unchecked. But people are finally starting to take notice of the issue. As a white female, I recognize that I am privileged and that I don’t know what it is like to be black in America today. I recognize that I haven’t been the ally I should have been in the past. I also know that I can no longer stay silent. I will strive to be a better ally in the fight for equality. I will listen to those who are closely affected by the systemic racism that pervades our nation. I will spread their stories, support their ideas, and celebrate their victories that I believe will come one day. Black lives matter.

Before I continue to talk about ways that we can all become better allies in this fight, I need to own up to my past. I have not always been the best ally. I have sat back and said nothing when someone said something racist. Sadly, growing up with family in the south, there is still a lot of racism present. I’ve listened to people say derogatory or judgmental comments towards the black community, and even though I was extremely uncomfortable, I said nothing to them. I didn’t call them out or explain to them why those comments are offensive. I know for a fact that subconsciously we all have acted differently towards people due to race. We avoid certain neighborhoods, laugh at stereotypes in the media, and have been unbothered by the preferential treatment we as white people inherently get. I own that. I also know that I can change that. Silence is easy, but it’s time to get uncomfortable.

There are a lot of things that we can do to be better allies in this fight. This is an article that I saw circulating on Twitter telling us the things we can do to aid this movement. https://medium.com/equality-includes-you/what-white-people-can-do-for-racial-justice-f2d18b0e0234 It is important not only to get involved politically but also to educate yourself. All of the books and movies on this list have gone on my list of things to read and watch next. I am not as informed as I should be. I want to better understand all of the injustices that exist in order to be a better ally. We can’t properly support black individuals without knowing the history and really seeing the despicable way they have been treated. I promise that I will do my part in learning about this movement and supporting it in any way I can.

No one should be seen as being below someone else. That is simply not true. As a Christian, I believe that we are all made in the image of God. That includes everybody. No matter who you are, you were created in His image. Everyone is equal. Everyone is a person. Everyone should be treated equally. There are a lot of people in the south in particular that are blindly following in the footsteps of their ancestors from the time of slavery. The biases have been passed down through each generation. But we do not have to be what our ancestry was. We have the ability to educate ourselves and understand that we are not better than black people simply because we are white. This fight is also not about us at all. Saying “All lives matter” in the midst of this fight is not helpful. Here’s the thing: society has already proven they believe that white lives matter. This fight is about saying “Black lives matter.” Until equality between races is achieved, that is all that we should be saying. We are not fighting for our rights. We already have them. Being an ally means pushing the voices in the black community to the top, not trying to insert ourselves.

So what do we do going forward? We educate ourselves, we speak up when we see injustice, we let our political leaders know that this is a problem that needs to be addressed, and we support those in the black community who are actively affected by the inequality that currently plagues our world. Listening is the most important. Hear their stories and let them sink in. Understand that this is a real problem and one that we should all be angry about. As a new generation grows up and starts to have kids, let’s teach them from the beginning that everyone is equal and should be treated as such. Racism is learned. Babies don’t come into the world seeing the world unequally. They pick up on the biases that are passed down to them. So let’s be the generation that abolishes those biases as we raise a new generation. Let’s use love and not fight hate with hate. Let’s educate and not condemn. Let’s continue to speak out even after the news coverage goes away. Let’s be an ally. #BlackLivesMatter

I think it is incredibly important to remember the names of those who have been killed because of discrimination. We can’t forget the names. I’m sure this is not a complete list, so if you know of someone else please feel free to put their names in the comments. We are fighting to not have more names make the list.

Here are some links where you can support the movement by signing petitions, donating, or educating yourself.

https://blacklivesmatter.com/news/ Black Lives Matter Website

https://t.co/vspdnJrDDi Ways to Help

https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd?recruiter=1096617288&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf_combo_share_abi&recruited_by_id=2943f820-a174-11ea-b563-a538d17ee3bd George Floyd Petition

https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd George Floyd Memorial Donation

https://org2.salsalabs.com/o/6857/p/salsa/donation/common/public/?donate_page_KEY=15780&_ga=2.209233111.496632409.1590767838-1184367471.1590767838 NAACP Donation

https://blavity.com/how-to-be-a-white-ally/how-to-be-a-white-ally?category1=opinion How to Be an Ally

https://www.theroot.com/12-ways-to-be-a-white-ally-to-black-people-1790876784 How to Be an Ally

These are just a few resources so please feel free to add links in the comments below to other ways we can educate and help! I know I can definitely be more informed than I am now, so I would love to have suggestions from you. If we all work together, I believe we can help make a change.

Rachel (: